Alert! Alert! The legendary and widely heralded citizens militia has received orders to converge on Wacko, Texas. We all know their constitutional call:

“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

We have heard about these super heroes for years. The NRA has told us that good guys carrying guns is the only way to stop a bad guy carrying a gun. Well, now is the time, Texas is the perfect place, for these citizen soldiers to bear arms and come to the aid of Wacko, Texas. The evil biker gangs of the world are all racing towards Wacko. There are four guns, tanks and bazookas for every man, women and child in Texas. Elementary schools are mandated to certify Kindergartners to be registered gun dealers by the state of Texas.

Now, the citizens militia can prove its case. Now they can show the world that they are not a bunch of drunk, red-necks shooting every tree in the woods imagining them to be the notorious bad guy trying to rob their house or kill their children only to find the strong hand of the militia beating them to a pulp with lead. Come on militia, show us you metal now! Head to Wacko and kill the bad guys. Trees don’t shoot back but we know trees are only part of your paramilitary training. Now you can shoot at an enemy that shoots back. Now is the time to show us your metal, make your day, and finally show the world that the Founding Fathers were not protecting drunken red-necks on parade at the expense of anyone that might accidentally get shot by them but the Founding Fathers were creating the citizens militia to hate the government they had just created. Gee, those guys were almost as smart as the good ‘ol boys in the militia.